The Magic of Online Dating

Understanding what makes Internet dating such a powerful tool
for meeting new people.
Overcoming your stereotypes about Internet dating
Close your eyes and imagine you’re walking down a crowded
street in Manhattan during the lunchtime rush on a pleasant
summer day.

Assume you’re a single woman, divorced six months
ago, in your late 30s or early 40s, and finally ready to start dating
again.You scan the crowd. Half are women. Of the men, some are
way too young, too old, or too unattractive, but among the 200 or
so people in your field of vision, 15 or so, may be age and gender
appropriate. And within that 15, you see three that strike you as
datable.

What doyou do? Do you go up to each of them and ask them if
they’re single,straight, and interested in a date this Saturday?
And even if you had the courage to do just that, would you really
want to date a complete stranger? By the time you had the
courage to walk over to him, he may have already headed back to
work, and you just missed him and the two other prospects across
the street.

This is the dilemma of modern urban adult singles. Dates (and
maybe even mates) are out there, but where? And in any case,
how many dates can you go on before randomly stumbling into a
match?

Now imagine this alternate reality: You log on www.best-adult-content.com. You run a search of the database of prospects
that sound suitable to you: a man, divorced, living within 25 miles
(40km) from your home, about 5-feet-10-inches (180cm) tall,
weight 160 to180 lbs (70–80 kg),with a master’s degree and
children.

The search returns 75prospects, of which 55 have photos.
Scanning the photos, you find five who are extremely attractive,
15 more whose looks appeal to you, five more who give you a so-
so


Making Online Dating Work for You

chemical response, and the rest, you couldn’t imagine dating. Of
the 20 or so that pique your interest, you read their personal
essays and preferences in women. Half of the essays are pretty
lame, but a few show signs of life.

In fact, after reading the essays of some of the guys you didn’t
think were visually interesting, you find a couple more who seem
to have enough upstairs to make up for their apparent visual
weakness. You write to a few, and a few respond. You’ve done
this all in about two hours from your kitchen and in your pajamas,
late at night.

Both scenarios are completely realistic. In each case, appropriate
singles are out there but in the first case, you simply don’t know
who they are. Even if they held up signs saying “I’m available,”
you wouldn’t know anything about them. So making contact is a
double crapshoot. What are the odds that you will pick out a
good, single one before you confidence goes below sea level?


Adding a Little Order to Your Dating

Traditional dating is fundamentally random. Consider this:
By sheer luck, you’re invited to a party. By chance, you meet a
friend there. The friend is talking to someone who is single. You
find the person physically interesting. He or she also shows signs
of interest. You start a conversation that goes well. The party
ends.

One of you has the courage to propose exchanging phone
numbers.

You have a second date. You find out more about this person.
You like what you see. So does he or she. And so on and so on.
Notice that if, at any step along the way, you realize you’re not a
match, you quit and wait until another random event (like the
party) occurs and you try again.

Considering the advantages of online dating, especially when
compared to finding a mate in the nonvirtual world, we are
amazed that the human race has managed to propagate without
the benefit of computers up to this point in time.
Internet dating offers these benefits:

You know that (almost) every person posted online is available
and looking for some kind of companionship, so that
embarrassing question “are you in a relationship” is assumed
to be “no”.

You know with a reasonable degree of accuracy, a great deal
of data about each prospect (age, height, location, education,
vocation, children, religion, and so on) before you exchange
word one. (Dating sites that use personality profiles provide
even more advanced data.)
You know something about how he or she thinks and writes


(depending on the dating site).
You know roughly what he or she looks like.
You know how to contact him or her.
You have the chance to exchange e-mail and talk on the phone
without ever revealing your identify, until you’re comfortable
doing so.You can move on to the next prospect quickly if there
seems to be little interest after initial contacts.
You can do all this for less than what it costs you to go out to
dinner at a moderate-priced restaurant.No other form of dating
compares in its ability to bring so many available singles together
with tons of information about each, and it provides a quick and
efficient way to ferret out matches.


Why Online Dating Is a Good Idea
You’re reading this book, so you’re at least intrigued by the
concept
of online dating. If you’re not sure if this mode of dating is
right for you, the next few sections offer some selling points, and
if
you need more convincing, check out the rest of Part I.


An almost limitless supply
of people are online
Remember the earlier example about meeting someone at a
party? Never mind how random that whole event is. How
frequent
is it that you find yourself in a situation where you’re surrounded
by age-appropriate singles? Online, you’re surrounded
by age-appropriate singles every time you log on. And if you
don’t find enough people at one site, you can go to any of
hundreds
of other sites, or you can simply wait a while and a new
crop of singles will have signed on.


In effect the number of potential matches is essentially limitless
and perpetually changing. Compare that to your current social
circles.
In addition to college, when was the last time you were
exposed to a few hundred age-appropriate matches?

Internet dating is way
more convenient than
traditional dating
When was the last time you prospected for dates in your pajamas
at 3 a.m.? The whole concept of virtual dating is that the
community of single prospects is available to you whenever you
want to meet them. For people with day jobs, children, and other
social obligations, prospecting online at odd hours is the only way
to go.

Not only can you log on at odd hours, but you also can log on for
short amounts of time. In our example of the party, you have to
dress up and commit to several hours of socializing with the
possibility of not even meeting one age-appropriate single.

You know who is age appropriate online, and you can initiate
contact in ten minutes and log off. Then log on again later or the
next day and see if you got a response.

You can parallel-date at warp speed

In our party example, your odds of striking up a conversation with
one potential prospect is relatively small, but the chances of
meeting two or three? Well, your chances are right up there with
being hit by a meteorite.

Online, you can certainly initiate contact with multiple prospects at the same time because the process of initiating contact is so
simple. Then you can engage them in e-mail and phone exchanges
until you can determine which, if any, are worth dating. If none,
you just go back to the trough.

Some “brilliant” mastermind once said dating is a “numbers
game.”

As you meet more people, your odds of meeting a “good one”
improve. Internet dating is entirely designed around fast and
efficient initial contacts. After you see potential, you can then
slow down the normal dating speed and concentrate on
determining if you have a true match — just like in traditional
dating.
Making Online Dating Work for You Internet dating eliminates the
awkwardness of first introductions
Are you good at walking up to a stranger and saying hello? Not too
many people are and we weren’t either. In online dating, the
effort of making first contact is so slight that the fear of rejection
simply melts away.

After you initiate an e-mail exchange, a reply arrives
and the ice thaws. For many people, just getting past the initial
encounter successfully makes the rest of dating easier.

Unlocking Internet
Dating’s Secrets

If you’re going to succeed at online dating, you have to recognize
that it’s different from traditional dating. So, what’s the secret to
Internet dating? In order to succeed, remember to use the
Internet as a way to gain insight into the available and
appropriate singles.

Remember that a dating site is much more than a directory of
available singles; it’s a means to get into the prospect’s character
and personality by virtue of an ongoing exchange that takes place
before you meet! And that’s why Internet dating is traditional
dating turned on its head.

When you finally do meet your prospect in person, you aren’t
strangers. The date is with someone who is a suitable match with
respect to age, values, and future goals. The date feels like a
reunion and proceeds at a much more advanced level. The date is
like getting“together again. . . . for the first time” (thanks Yogi
Berra).

Therefore, to succeed at Internet dating, you must
Have a good sense of who you are Have a good sense of what
you’re looking for in a date/mate.

Have a reliable way to get online, surf the Web, send and receive
e-mail, and maybe even take part in online chats Read the
prospects’ profiles carefully (for example, looking past the
photos) and try to find nuggets of information about the prospects
that make them suitable Engage in e-mail exchanges with
prospects to ferret out additional information that can tell you if
your prospects are a reasonable match If you discover you’re not
a match, you can disengage quickly, and move on with minimal
discomfort.

If you follow this plan, which we explain thoroughly in this book,
you can vastly improve your odds of de-randomizing the dating
process.

Overcoming Preconceived Notions
of Who Is Online

If we have convinced you that online dating makes perfect sense
as an efficient and effective way to meet appropriate people,
make sure you head into the process in the right state of mind.

Every new invention ever developed has had its naysayers.
Internet dating is just one more example that has its detractors.
The press loves to run stories of nightmare experiences of online
daters, but in fact these stories are rare, and certainly more
likely with encounters at a bar. We also suspect that these
nightmarish online encounters are far more likely to occur in the
many available free chat rooms, rather than a reputable online
dating service with its requisite essay and cost commitments.
The fact is that Internet dating is very mainstream today. The
numbers of people reported dating online in North America
ranges from 10 to 30 million! And Internet dating includes more
than just 20-somethings. The fastest-growing segment of online
daters is older than 40, and it makes perfect sense, because that
group is the least likely to have access to more traditional
avenues for dating.

Furthermore, dating sites indicate that their members tend to be
more highly educated and financially well off than the general
public. Part of that may be due to the fact that Internet dating requires
some knowledge and access to computers, as well as the ability to pay
the subscription fee.
So if you’re thinking that Internet dating is for computer geeks or
desperate people who can’t get a date, you need only spend a
few minutes perusing any national dating site to change your
mind in a hurry.


Ready to go to online dating and try recommended dating

Good and intresting dating service


Good luck to You!